Ugh, where am I? Whats that smell? Why does my HEAD HURT. I’m nauseous. Why am I so thirsty? What happened? Where’s my wallet? Who is this next to me? Is that Seal playing in the background? I dont even own a Seal CD.
We’ve all been hungover at one time or another, its not fun. Its a discombobulating menagerie of symptons that leaves you feeling wounded, weakened, and distraught. You’re confused and disgruntled, and you crave things.
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could avoid all this?
**Note: Chad Daring II is not a medical doctor
Things You Should Have
-A grill or a cast-iron grill pan
-A large dish with tall sides, a baking dish or big Tupperware container will work (the Tupperware will get stained from this)
-Flat broad skewers, metal preferably but disposable wood ones will do
-A half-gallon plastic jug, with a widemouth
This will be a four point approach. The goal is to minimize the gremlins and ghosts in your machine that leave you a quivering heap the morning after a drunken wild night.
-Before you go out
-After you’re done drinking (only applicable if conscious)
-The middle of the night/morning
-The Next day
-Chicken Breasts, skin on, bone out, get two pounds
-Plain Yogurt, one quart (make sure its PLAIN PLAIN, not plain vanilla)
-Garlic, I prefer the chopped jarred kind for simplicity, you’ll want about 10 cloves worth (if you go with whole garlic make sure you chop it)
-Yellow/White Onion, three medium-large onions
-Lemon Juice, you can go with the bottled kind, fresh is better, either way you want about 1/2 cup worth
-Curry Powder, I prefer to use garam masala whenever a recipe calls for curry powder, though the florescent yellow powder will do
-Tumeric, you’ll need about two tablespoons
-Extra Strength Excedrin, one bottle of any size
-Strawbery-Orange Gatorade AM, the biggest bottle you can find (within reason)
–Do Work Son!–
=Before You Go Out=
1) Dice up those chicken breasts, you want 1″ pieces and you want to keep the skin intact as much as possible
2) Peel the onions and then cut them into quarters
3) Take the quarters and separate it into two pieces of multiple layers, one piece will be the outer half, the other the inner half or “core”
4) Take the outermost layers and cut them into pieces roughly the same size as the chicken, you’ll want to keep the multiple layers together, or piece them back together, if you just put one layer by itself its going to burn
5) Use a knife, box grater, or food processor to finely chop or grate the remaining onion cores, you want the consistency to be as close to a puree as possible.
6) Combine the onion puree, the chopped garlic, the lemon juice, the yogurt, the curry powder and the tumeric
7) Build your kebabs, use two skewers per kebab, start with both skewers in your hand, slide down a piece of onion, then slide down a piece of chicken so that the skin on the breast is facing up (not touching the onion), leave a small gap between “segments”
@ = Onion
() = Chicken
Make sure you leave a little room at either end as well, for handling purposes
8) With your sturdy double skewered kebabs built, lay them in your container and then dump the yogurt marinade over to of them.
9) Park the whole thing int the fridge
10) Eat something about an hour before you go out
11) Take a 1.5x dose of Excedrin
12) Fill the half-gallon jug with water and leave it next to your bed
=After You’re Done Drinking=
1) First and foremost do any vomiting that you have to do.
2) Chug that Gatorade son!
3) Have sex with the random chick you brought home
=Middle of the Night/Morning=
1) When you wakeup in the middle of the night with a wicked case of cotton mouth take your preemptively preppared potable (alliteration is the bacon of writing) and chug till your hearts content.
2) Force yourself to finish it, not necessarily in one sitting, but over the course of the night
=The Next Day=
1) Get up and go through whatever morning routine you like, be it morning sex, shower, or a combination of both
2) Take another dose of Excedrin
3) Turn on your grill or get your grill pan hot
4) Indulge in the hair of the dog and enjoy a glass of homemade cider to take the edge off
5) Once the grill is hot drop on your now marinaded kebabs
6) Roll them 90 degrees every 2 minutes, after the last 2 minute period check for doneness, if need be turn the heat down and let them finish
If you followed these steps of proper preparation, medication, hydration, and food….ation, you should find that even the wildest tequila drenched night will fail to bring you down!
Drink well, eat well, and prosper.